Seriously

Going back to my roots! AKA LIVEJOURNAL.

him & i.

He picks me up when i need someone, anyone. Is there even when i'm at my worst. I can never ever think of not having him in my life. I feel the day he leaves me will be the day half of me is gone. That empty spot would never be full-filled. I love him & have noticed a lot today about him after talking to his mother. He helps out anyone. It's the best feeling when people compare me to him. I know i will never be as great as him..but i know i have a part of him that influences me in many things.

Jose Julio Armenteros is my father & the best person to ever walk this earth.

A place where planes don't go.

 These pass couple days have been, hands down, amazing.  Some things i thought would leave me wanting more & feeling deprived 'n down. But it all has opened up my eyes to a whole new outlook on certain situations. 

On top 'n looking down at the people that have paused themselves in life due to them not adapting. 

'cause i can & i will.

I have forgotten those moments where a certain song would just take all my thoughts and words out of my body and sum it all up in the melody. Sadly, this hasn't happened to me in a while. It has been an intense life changing 8 months. Leaving the nest of my parents for a false love. Then leaving that false love to my own place. Now, the plan is landing to the nest again. Out of the 8 months, this feels like the first real adult move i have ever set myself on doing. No bills nor "Adult things" can ever make this feeling seem bad. 

I tend to get lost in my mind a lot more then normal. I feel like i'm worth a lot more then what i give myself credit for. I go into a shell at times. Hiding from what i want to say & the thoughts that plague my mind or the actions that take over my body language. Damn you. I sometimes wish that someone would look into my eyes & just know what just played in my mind & tell me the solution. I sometimes see the color of myself get splish splashed all over the town i walk on. All 'cause of me. Knowing to stop, I do at times. But with full force these thoughts & wants come at me. Having all these goals & knowing what i'm capable of seem to make me a lot more impatient then what i really am. 

I just need to stroll my mind & town, letting myself paint the town with my glow.. SHOOOOOT.

yum yum in my tums

So last night, my boyfriend & I went to kaizen (MS?!) Where he indulged in some yummy sushi rolls & we both enjoyed sake & beer.

& then the nice chef made us a bird of sliced apples with banana sauce. YUMYUMZ IN MY TUMZ.

Damn right.

I one day want to live in a decent sized home, with a husband making some dinner & A martini to finish my Day.

Something washed over me today. Actually, more like came off of me. The icky icky feeling. Overall, great day/night. I was breathing in & exhaling with nothing ruining my rhythm. My brain seemed to function more like.. ohhh i don't know, me? That stupid insecurity has left my cerebral. Left it high & dry with me holding the keys & knowing what is next for me. Just taking it in.

Oh & did i ever mention that my cat is just the love of my life?!

On & on & on.

I seriously tend to feel that my mind can only hold so much more thoughts before it explodes. Honestly, It feels like it is about to just shut down & everything just scatter out like pandoras box. This past week i have finally come to terms with my constant need for MORE MORE MORE. Its like i need to feel like everything is unknown. To keep heart beat racing & My mind going. I love where i am & the people i have surrounded myself with. I'm not a teenager anymore & i honestly think it's a ruff patch that i'm hitting. WAHHWAHH, i sound like a little girl complaining.

God bless sex in the city, carrie couldn't have said it any better. I'm not perfect. & I feel like everyone, especially the person i like, will realize this. The moment i don't feel this will be amazing. Finally, i'm writing this. I'm not perfect. Maybe that is also a big factor of why i feel so uneasy.

...

To this amazing new blog. Decided to get rid of the LJ. Leave all of disappointments & false dreams.

Freshhhhhhhhhhhhh. Can't get much better then this.